Universal truths

Triangular sandwiches always taste better than square ones.
Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
You always feel a bit scared when you stroke a horse
Old ladies can eat more than you think.
The most embarrassing thing you can do as a schoolchild is call your teacher Mum or Dad.
There is one word you type almost every day that you still cannot spell.
When you find a green crisp in a packet you’re never quite sure if it’s OK to eat it
It’s impossible to look cool while picking up a Frisbee.
Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel manly.
There’s no panic quite like the one you momentarily feel when you get your hand or head stuck in something.
You never run out of salt.
The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first opportunity.
Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
Everyone had an uncle who tickled them.
Men know they have turned into their fathers the day they put aside a small sliver of wood as being useful to stir paint.
Nobody makes cup-a-soup in a bowl.
You’re never quiet sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your garden.
Old ladies with mobile phones look wrong.